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There has been some absolute drivel coming over the wire recently, with several publications devoting far more copy space than necessary (ie some) to report this utter non-story from Gloucester.

Predictably, the Daily Mail has got in on the action (proving once again that the Mail newsdesk is a hotbed of ambition and integrity) but the Metro, MSN and Yahoo have also stooped to dangerous new levels of desperation in order to fill column inches.

To be honest, I try not to even bother writing about Ghost Photography anymore, which might explain why posts on Looking For Ghosts are less frequent than they used to be. Perhaps I’ve developed an immunity to them over the years but, as the old saying goes, there are only so many photographs of blurry, indeterminate objects you can look at before you start to feel your intelligence being insulted. Embarrassingly, my limit was 647. I’ve reached saturation point.

As I no longer have the energy to appear enthusiastic about some dubious picture you can clearly see is the result of double-exposure/photoshopping/dust on the lens/shadows/delete as applicable, this will be the last Ghost Photograph post you see on this blog. It’s beneath me to write them and it’s certainly beneath you to read them. I can’t even be bothered to be cynical about it anymore as it’s become far too easy to be rewarding. Think of it like kicking a sleeping puppy in the face; enjoyable at first, but the feeling of victory soon starts to wear off.

Anyway, here is it:

Stupid, isn’t it? This “apparition” was “captured” by John Gore, 43, whilst he was taking photographs of his pet cats (why?!) at his home in Cheltenham, Gloucester.

Despite the fact that it’s the easily the least convincing Ghost Photograph in existence, Mr Gore and his girlfriend have given the “ghost” the nickname Johnny Junior and have conducted the following intensive scientific research to find out the spirit’s identity:

“I showed it to a lady over the road who has lived here for years. She said somebody who lived in the house before us had a child who died of cot death.”

Right, so that’s settled then. It’s good to see a thorough investigation take place.

For the last time, there is absolutely no logical reason for ghosts to show up on camera. It does not happen. Please, let’s put this to bed for once and for all.

For the love of ghosts, can somebody, ANYBODY, give me something more interesting to write about?

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Proving once again that the internet is an ocean of stupidity, never short of willing participants eager to dive in and drown, Looking For Ghosts stumbled across this photo which has apparently gone “viral”.

For those of you who might have actually lived a worthwhile existence during the last couple of years and don’t understand the language of smug, media bores, the term “going viral” is used to describe something gaining inexplicable popularity on the internet. The opposite of this blog, essentially.  

According to the Daily Mail, who took time out from their usual routine of castigating immigrants and casual homophobia to cover this extremely important story, the picture has “divided the internet between the people who can see it, and those who cannot.”

Really? Not meaning to question the infinite wisdom of the Daily Mail, but what about the conveniently-ignored third group of people who can clearly see the face but have concluded that it’s an obvious hoax? Without presuming to know every reader of this blog personally (although we suspect it wouldn’t take too long), we’d like to think that most of us fall into this category.

If you don’t fall into this category, ask yourself why a “demon” would be squashed under a sofa cushion. Then ask yourself why anyone would be taking a photo of a sofa in the first place.

In fact, it doesn’t even look like a demon: it’s just a normal face. There’s nothing remotely sinister about it. It’s not even making a scary expression or anything. The whole thing is absurd.

In order to try and disguise an obvious lack of material (something we would NEVER do), the article is padded out with some reactionary fluff from the world of Twitter, which is what Journalists do nowadays in lieu of actually having to do any work themselves. “It genuinely made me Jump when I saw it, be warned!” wrote Ryan Evans, sounding like a genuine moron.

Clearly struggling for content, the article lumps another unrelated “scary face” picture at the bottom of the article in a hilarious attempt to tie it all together. But this one’s even more farcical; it’s just one of the girl’s friends standing behind them.

If this is the kind of nonsense the internet is being used for, it should be taken away and replaced with a book.

Whilst our previous Ghost Photography features may have been unconvincing, this one isn’t quite so easy to dismiss. However, we will still give it our best shot.

This photograph of Wem Town Hall in Shropshire was taken by a local in 1995 as the building was burning to the ground. For those of you who are short of sight, there is a clear image of a little girl standing against a backdrop of flames.

The generally accepted story by slathering paranormal maniacs is that this is the ghost of Jane Churm, a girl who inadvertently destroyed many of Wem’s wooden houses in a similar fire in 1677. After being clumsy with a candle, much of Wem, including poor Jane, perished in the flames.  Could it be that her spirit returned to watch the latest fire to ravage her town? Our instincts say yes. There is literally no other explanation.

Well, other than these:

  • Double exposure. Accounting for roughly 90% of all “ghost photographs”, this is a common technical glitch which simply results in a previous image being superimposed over the last. It can be either intentional or unintentional , which leads us to…
  • Lying. The Photographer could have simply tampered with the image and added the little girl in, as is the case with hundreds of other hoaxes. This may seem cynical, but it seems to us that if you’re the kind of person who stands there taking pictures of a burning building rather than rolling your sleeves up and getting busy with the hose, then you could very easily be the type of person who would make up a little girl ghost. Admittedly, an expert analysing the photo at the time claimed that: “the negative is a straightforward piece of black-and-white work and shows no sign of having been tampered with.” But he could be lying too. People lie all the time. This whole planet is a fetid sphere of stinking dung occupied solely by repulsive, hateful liars. Get used to it.
  • Tragedy. This is a long shot, but the girl in question could just be a real girl trapped in the flames. Hopeful that someone will call the emergency services, all she got instead was some loon with a camera snapping away.

Anyway, that’s enough of our inconsequential opinions, get in touch and let us know what your inconsequential opinions are.

As we welcome the start of another glorious week, Looking For Ghosts brings you another instalment of our Ghost Photography series.

Ghost Child in Cemetery may sound like the title of a long forgotten Morrissey song, but it’s actually a “famous” ghost picture that has been doing the paranormal rounds for several decades.

Take a look. Horrifying, isn’t it? Go on, admit it; you almost soiled yourself when you saw it.

That’s okay. It’s not every day you see a huge, translucent baby sitting in a graveyard. Unless you spent your formative years doing mind-altering drugs, in which case ghosts are probably fairly low down on your list of problems.

According to legend, a woman named Mrs. Andrews was visiting the grave of her daughter who died at the ripe old age of 17. She saw nothing unusual when she took this photo, but when the film was developed she was astonished to see the image of a small child (whom she did not recognise) sitting happily at her daughter’s grave. Eerie!

Trouble is, the disproportion between the child and its surroundings coupled with the calm and playful expression on its cute little face would indicate nothing more than an unfortunate case of double exposure.

One internet account hilariously attempts to claim that “the ghost child seems to be aware of Mrs. Andrews since he or she is looking directly into the camera”.

Ghosts don’t pose for photographs!

This confirms what Looking For Ghosts have suspected for a long time: some people will believe any old shit.

Here at Looking For Ghosts, we are committed to researching all aspects of the paranormal world in order to bring you, our loyal readers, the most varied spectrum of information as possible. Whether we’re visiting famous haunted locations, trawling the internet for hysterical supernatural encounters or sitting in a dusty library with our noses stuck in spooky books, we make sure no stone is left unturned in our quest to find a ghost.

With this in mind, we will now turn our attention to a popular, if not slightly dubious, corner of the paranormal community; ghost photography. No, not photographs taken by ghosts. Photographs of ghosts. Well, possibly. But most likely not.

This week, we will specifically be looking at orbs. Big, round, beautiful, bouncy orbs. Behold!

Phwoar! Check out the orbs on that!

Insects

Rain

But what are they? Ask most paranormal enthusiasts and they will probably mutter something about orbs being spirits caught on camera or balls of energy that will leave you scratching your head and regretting that you asked in the first place.

In reality, orbs are caused by the flash from the camera reflecting on dust particles, insects or drops of moisture in the air. All perfectly normal and utterly unmysterious. If anyone ever tries to tell you any different, simply find the nearest stick and beat them with it until they are a whimpering, sorry mess. Only stop when they tell you, between terrified screams of anguish, that they were wrong and that orbs are not scary, thus surrendering any tiny atom of respect you might have once had for them.

Once this is done, you will have to locate your nearest police station and turn yourself in. Don’t worry; there isn’t a court in the land that will convict you.

(Note: Looking For Ghosts does NOT condone the use of violence, even against orb enthusiasts.)

Looking For Ghosts

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